Presidents' Day

Many of our presidents are remembered for the insightful and inspiring words they spoke:

George Washington: "The time is near at hand which must determine whether Americans are to be free men or slaves."

Abraham Lincoln: "Fourscore and seven years ago..."

Teddy Roosevelt: "Speak softly and carry a big stick."

John F. Kennedy: "And so, my fellow Americans... ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country."

William Jefferson Clinton: "I experimented with marijuana a time or two... I didn't inhale." and "I did not have sexual relations with that woman..."

With that in mind, I offer, as my observance of Presidents' Day, this little ditty / history lesson:

Monica Lewinsky
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by snoupi

Monica Lewinsky
Tara Lipinski
I've always had trouble remembering names.

When I first heard the news
I was so confused.
I heard that our pres was with what-was-her-name;
That cute little skater?
With that old masterb... beguiler?
She was only fifteen, what a crime and a shame!

Now, I see you shake your head and say that I'm confused;
That is not the crime of which our president was accused!

No, Monica Lewinsky,
I mean, Tara Lipinski
Won an Olympic gold medal, an ice skating star!
But Tara Lipinski,
I mean, Monica Lewinsky
Won fame for what she did with the president's cigar!

She smoked it in a most peculiar way.
And told Linda Tripp how she'd been led astray.

Ken Starr, the old fogey,
He wanted that stogie;
He wanted to put Mr. Clinton in jail.
But Bill wasn't guilty
Of anything filthy;
He didn't really have sex, 'cause he didn't...

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inhale.